Conflicting Desires…

After more than a month of absence, I return to writing. Although I am quite sure a few of my friends would wish that I would stop torturing the world with this drivel, apparently I have to just admit that I am addicted to writing and should get on with it. I must confess that I have been both terribly busy and terribly distracted by all that I have pushed myself into but I will try to make at least one post a week while working on a number of other projects in the real world. I find myself between two conflicting desires i.e. to find time to reflect on my own and to find time to spend with those who are dear to me. On the subject of conflicting desires I present this poor ghazal.

 

تیری رضا تو ہے، میری رضا نہیں

اکیلے  رونے  کا،  کوئی  مزہ  نہیں

 

کن   لوگوں  سے  دل   ملاتے  ہو؟

اس خیر کاری کی، کوئی جزا نہیں

 

انکو دیکھتا ہوں، یہی سوچتا ہوں

جرمِ بیوفائی کی، کوئی سزا نہیں

 

کیسے  جاؤں  میں؟  درِ رحمت پے

کے نمازِ عشق کی، کوئی قضا نہیں

 

یہ  تم  نے  کیا  کہا؟  استاد  مر  گیا؟

روزِ حیات ہے خیر سے، شبِ نزاع نہیں

 

Although you may wish it

I certainly do not

And this conflict

Has left me weeping alone

 

Yet we are drawn to others

With conflicting desires

It is a goodly cause

Without reward

 

So when I look upon them

I am led to wonder

Is there a punishment

For being faithless?

 

I dare not go

To the door of mercy

Vespers once missed

Can not be atoned for

 

And now you tell me

That he has died

How? Its a day full of life

Not the evening of death